Reblog if you have met someone online that you would love to hangout with but they live too far away.
Have never reblogged something so quick in my goddam life
I have the same brush but my fucking cat hates it.
I’m not really here as much. I tried to use this platform for my own benefit but it seems that has not worked out so well. Nothing new really. Met some interesting names and faces but like bad Mexican food most passed through regrettably, have tried to get to know people only to finally get to know them and realise I probably could have better invested my time and money… I think I’ve just got to that point where I deal in the literal and the lateral but people want to keep wishing me well and keep me hoping for the best when the reality is clear once the optimism obscuring subjective analysis evaporates… necessity is all it really amounts to, a need for needs to make sense until they no longer need to, sentiment replaced with selfishness, lies of an underlying logic that only needs to matter when and if it actually matters.
I’ll still be randomly stopping by to post my musings and while a satisfying escapist media toy for the time it has been helpful, I think I am tired of the whole social networking things, online or otherwise. I think perhaps I am best left to accept myself with all my faults, deficits, talents and ticks than bother trying to convince anyone else of my worthiness or good qualities. I’ve done that for enough people for long enough to my detriment. Why sell myself to those who’d undervalue me or discount my efforts? I’d rather just be a private reserve for my own sake and benefit. I really can’t be doing with lowering myself, biting my own tongue and banging my own head in the process, to fit into reductive and compartmentalised mindsets and I am so fucking tired of the “I was so mashed….” EPIC retelling of a boring fucking story that only sounds interesting because your perception was so fucked you’d have wrote a letter to your fucking parents if you’d noticed a functional lamp post.
I don’t expect many, if any, to notice this but if you do, thanks for that and I hope you have a pleasant day/evening ahead.
Back to getting comfortable
I just don’t even bother anymore. People call me, they show up or they don’t and I go about my day/plans with or without them. Can’t be dealing with people that can’t even make a deal and keep to it. I’m the only person who is valued and cared for by me the way I want to be, everyone else disappoints or talks a lot of shit without realising they are just as bad as the people they accuse 99% of the time.
So it’s better to go do everything you want when you want and as it suits you, otherwise you’ll just end up feeling bad seeking the attention of people who couldn’t give a shit about you, kind of like yourself and I since the start of the year. Do what you have to do, do what you can, when you can and try no to do any harm but don’t be mad to feel bad by people don’t feel bad about making you feel bad, especially if you only feel bad because you’re chasing after their time and attention while turning away or neglecting the best efforts of others.
You want to drink ditch water with your friends rather than sip from a clear stream because you might have to put in a little extra effort to get better elsewhere alone on a higher ground better suited for you, that’s fine but it’s a choice and the consequential suffering is as well.
In the last month I’ve had my fair share of people talk the talk and then develop leg cramp when it has came time to walk the walk. I just figure most people are selfish, unexceptional liars with lots of excuses and not enough drive to be honourable, kind, decent or generous. However that is how people are. I could swear to never leave the house again if I tread in some dog poop or I can simply put on my shitkicking workboots, stomp the ground and get to it.
Build yourself up to be functional for your purposes, not others. Hello, Evel Knievel is basically a legend for being too dumb to say “No!” and too greedy to say “Never again!” but in the end he had his fame and fortune. His infamy and legacy will long outlive the tales of him being an abusive drunkard doing blow while rehabbing from a cracked pelvis. We all want to leave a mark. Some of us want to think we’ll leave a pretty picture, some of us want a sign or a monument, but the majority of us will be like the kissing couples of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, stains on the scenery from where our brief existences once flashed and left something behind, even if just dirt and ash.